Practical Tips for Learning How to Make an Aligned Choice

Have you ever found yourself wavering back and forth between two choices – sometimes taking days, even months to make a choice?

Maybe you’re considering continuing your education, or maybe you’re trying to decide whether to commit to that volunteer organization that can really use your skills.  Are you trying to decide how to split your time with family over the holidays?  Could you be in a quandary on how to deal with a health issue?  Or maybe you’re trying to decide on a career move?

Conventional wisdom tells us to sit down and make a list of pros and cons for each choice and it’s assumed that through this rational and supposedly objective exercise, we should see a clear and easy decision – but that is rarely the case.

It’s not so easy to “know” what is the right choice.  Sometimes our belief system might keep us from going for what we want, “I believe that being a mother, I should be spending time with my children, not pursuing higher education.”  Or, maybe we have a fear of failure, “What if I disappoint the volunteer organization because I’m not as skilled as they think I am?”  Or, our need to please everyone else has us surrender our own wants, “We’ll visit both families for Thanksgiving even if it means driving two hours between families and being completely exhausted because I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Making decisions like these can lead to resentment and ultimately move us away from our favorite version of ourselves because we may be catering to others’ beliefs or allowing fear to keep us from reaching for what we truly want.  Taking the time to bring both your head and your heart into the decision-making process might help.

The next time you are trying to make a choice consider the following:

·      Gather as much information as possible

·      List all possible options

·      Consider how each choice will affect you

·      Identify how each choice aligns with your values

·      Determine the permanence of the decision

Now that you’ve done the intellectual work, it’s time to let your feelings, or your heart, have a voice:

·      Spend a day living one choice without thinking about the other choices.  

·      Who would you tell about this choice you’ve made?

·      How does it feel having made this choice?  Do you feel guilt, shame, fear, joy, excitement, etc.?

·      How does your day-to-day look now that you’ve made this choice? 

·      How do you feel about yourself – does this choice align with your favorite version of yourself?

·      Spend a day like this with each choice you have and be sure to keep a journal so you can easily reflect on how you felt with each choice. 

Now that you’ve integrated both your head and heart into the decision-making process, our hope is that you will be able to make a choice that feels good, aligns with your values, and allows you to live life as your favorite version of yourself!

If you desire additional support, feedback, and/or perspective - consider connecting with a coach!